Conflict is part of human interaction. Whether at work or in a relationship, conflict can arise and understand how others view an issue can be beneficial to you and the dilemma.
We can probably recall a time of conflict with a boss we respect, a colleague we like, a close friend we confide in, a family member we love, or even our significant other. It can be draining and many times leave us thinking about the disagreement for some time afterward. The constant wondering and thought can leave our bodies tense with aches, stomach discomfort, brain fog, and unproductiveness.
While differences are healthy and occur with our significant other or those we work closely with, it doesn’t have to ruin our day. The power to see things differently will not only help move the disagreement to resolution, but it will also help prevent conflict, body pains, and mental fatigue.
It doesn’t happen overnight, but if you make a conscious effort to change your thinking patterns with these few tricks, it will help you evolve to see things differently.
Opinion vs. Fact
Philosopher Marcus Aurelius said, “Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”
When situations begin to get heated, or you begin to get frustrated with someone or an event, take a pause and remember that what people say about us is an opinion, not a fact. You may not like or agree with what they say, but just like you, they are entitled to their opinion. So, going into a discussion, heated or not, with the idea that the other person has a view—not I'm right/they’re wrong mentality—and what they say is not factual can help keep you calm. It’s their perspective, just like your opinion is your perspective.
Keeping this in mind can hold a conversation at just that, a conversation. And this can help you understand their point of view and why they are saying what they say.
Perspective: Glass Half Full or Empty
Stuck in traffic, late to a meeting, in an argument, didn’t get the promotion. Some might think these scenarios are terrible. While they are not the most chipper events, if you look at it with a positive attitude (easier said than done) can help you see the silver lining.
Example, you didn’t get the promotion. A month later a recruiter reaches out asking you to interview for a role at a new company. Because you didn’t get the promotion, you do so and land the job. It ends up with a pay increase and new title. If you did get that promotion, you might have not taken the risk to interview at the other company. You ended up getting a promotion, just not at the exact moment you were hoping.
So, if something happens that is not the outcome you wish for, try to look at it as there is something else that may come of it.
Welcome an argument because you may learn something new. Appreciate the traffic because you may avoid a collision. Plus, if you think, negatively it can impact how you feel the rest of the day. Who wants to be negative all day long?
Failure vs. Learning Lesson
So, your presentation didn’t go as well as you’d hope. Does that mean you’ve failed? No. It just says it didn’t go as well as you’d expect. Is there room for improvement? Absolutely. If we change our minds from thinking, “I failed” to “What can I learn from this?” can help you see experiences differently and help you to grow. Maybe you needed to practice your presentation more, use different stats, or whatever the reason you were not happy with it. Athletes experience the same thing. They may not win the championships, but they are not failures. They can practice their skill and different plays to improve for the next season. And if you don’t make a mistake, how are you to ever learn?
Practicing how you view situations, listening, and speaking can help you see things differently and help you resolve disagreements quicker and avoid body aches or pains.