Self care is a term thrown around a lot these days. It can be hard to know exactly what it means. Usually, folks have the image of over indulging. Going on a shopping spree or buying some food you really like. But that kind of “treat yourself” mentality is a bandaid, not a cure.
Everyone needs self care, and you know it’s something to focus on when you feel overwhelmed and you know that your health has not been your priority. Everyone gets anxious, humiliated, stressed, or even break down. That’s ok. We’re here to offer you advice on how to manage through these tough times, and how you can heal yourself.
Acknowledge Your Emotions
While this suggestion might seem simple, most people actually don’t do it. Instead we’re taught to fight these emotions until they go away. For example, how many times have you been told “don’t be upset” or “don’t stress out” and to be happy instead? It seems so natural and kindhearted, but that’s not how feelings work. You can’t command one feeling a way and demand another in.
Instead, it’s best to think of emotions like a river. Sometimes it’s moving so fast you can barely catch yourself, but know that it will always change and what you’re feeling now will fade away sooner or later. Until it fades away, it’s best not to lie to yourself. Saying “I’m angry” can go a long way.
Give Yourself Space
There’s a behavior called fawning which is pretty common for people who need help the most. This behavior is complicated, and we recommend looking it up. It often results in people pushing away those that care about them and gravitating towards people who will abuse them.
We want you to be aware of this, because most people who fawn do not know that until it’s pointed out to them.
When we talk about giving yourself space, that means holding space for yourself first and foremost. Give yourself some time alone, get some aromatherapy and some lavender tea and treat yourself to a bath.
But then, you’re probably going to need help, and you do that by extending this space centered on your safety and well being to the right people. So take some time to think of the people who have shown that they’re always there for you. It might feel strange reaching out to them, and you may be compelled to reach out to someone who has shown less interest in you. That’s when it’s important to ask if you’re fawning or if you’re trusting your gut.
Schedule a Massage
A massage is not an indulgence, but an opportunity to remove toxins from your system and give your body a reset. Like computers that have been abused for a little too long, a simple restart could be all it needs to get itself back up. The same thing goes for your body.
A massage will get rid of the toxins gathered on your fascia and will relieve the tension that’s built up in your muscles. That way, you will feel energized and renewed.